Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I Can't Find My Vibrator!

These words were not ones you'd think you'd find on a family-friendly blog, are they?  Well, they were not the words that I think would be shouted one sultry summer afternoon either, but that is what I shielded my young son from hearing today.  When I first met my husband 16-plus years ago, he told me about his family.  He is the the first-born son; number five out of eight.  His father worked long hours as the chair of radiology at Tulane.  With eight kids in the family, it came as no surprise that his mom stayed home (even though she insists that she rarely stayed home - she spent most of her days in the school office, thanks to my hubby, or shuttling the children to practices, since all were involved in sports, dance, music and theater).  As our love grew, he explained to me that his sister Debbie had some learning disabilities.  He also explained that he promised his parents that he would look after her when they were gone.  No problem, I thought to myself.  My mom taught special education for years and I had worked with several of her students.  Being young and madly in love, I didn't give it much thought.

My father-in-law passed away unexpectedly from complications following a surgery.  At the time, we had been married for six years, had a toddler and I worked from home designing jewelry.  I was suddenly thrown into an unfamiliar role of caring for an autistic adult.  It was later revealed that Debbie falls on the autism spectrum.  Life with Debbie is challenging, but our faith in God and our love for each other gets us through.  Debbie has perfect pitch, plays piano beautifully and bakes delicious cakes.  As with most autistic people, consistency is important.  I've found that daily life works much better when our kitchen is stocked with raisin bran, skim milk, low-fat vanilla yogurt, sliced ham, wheat bread and fruit.  Debbie's presence in our lives also shows our children a deeper understanding of disabilities and that life isn't always easy, but faith and love can make it easier.

Oh, as for the vibrator...turns out it wasn't a vibrator, but a neck massager and thankfully, it was found.  Hey, anything that makes Debbie happy is bound to be good for the family!

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